Monday, November 30, 2009

:: Rekindling Old Memories ::

Is it worth it to rekindle an old flame? Or is it easier just to find someone new with a clean slate?


I recently met a guy whom I have lost contact with since 7 years ago. We had a brief 'i like u, u like me' moment which we didn't really act upon. We were both young and were still trying to find ourselves and were not really serious in finding our partners in life. So finally we went our separate ways..

Time goes by and to be honest, I have forgotten all about him. Until recently. He found me on FB. (surprise, surprise..). We chatted for a while and yesterday we decided to meet up.

Seeing him again is refreshing. We have both matured, we have both gone thru a few lessons in life and we have both know (roughly) what we want to pursue. We chatted for the longest time.

Am I gonna have a relationship with this guy? I don't know.

Am I ready for a new relationship? I don't think so. (at least not now)

Do I want him as a friend? For sure.


I guess time will tell if we are really meant to be together..

Take care folks. Enjoy life!


Monday, November 23, 2009

:: Aku Ngantuk!!! ::

Aku tak tido lagi..

Aku ngantuk...

Banyak keje, bila nak siap?

Besok nak gi tengok wayang!

Citer apa pon takpe..


Thursday, November 19, 2009

:: My Unique Feature - Republish!! ::

I decided to republish this entry because... well, because it's my blog!! hehe.. anyway, for those of you who have read this, thank you so much, for those who havent, feel free to.. Take Care!!




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No, this is not those kind of post where I ramble about how people are different and everyone has their own unique characteristic and that's what makes the world a better place to live in..

This post is about my birthmark. Yup I have a distinguish birthmark on my right arm.




When I was little, the mark was smaller, rounder and darker (maybe because I was fairer back then). I was somehow conscious about it in school since everyone kept on asking about it. They asked questions like "apa tu?" or "kena air panas ke tu?" or "eh, tangan ko kotor aa.."

A boy called me 'si tompok' at school. Crazy, irritating boy! He would gather his friends and started shouting 'OI SI TOMPOK!!' from across the school field. (OMG! I hated that boy so much!!)

At one point, I wanted to wear long sleeves all the time to cover it. I was tired of hearing questions and remarks about my birth mark. I might have mentioned it to my mom and being a wonderful, beautiful mother that she is, she started telling me how I'm one of the luckiest girl in the whole world because I was born with that mark on my arm.

"Kalau hilang, mak nak cari senang.. takyah cari susah2.. tengok tangan je dah tau anak mak yang mana satu.." she said with that great smile of hers. "Lagipon, mana ada orang lain yang dilahirkan dengan jam.. only u.." she would add. That restored my self esteem. I started drawing numbers and strap on my arm. When anybody asked about my birth mark, I would show them gladly and said "this is my watch. I was born with it!".

My dad, a loving father that he is would hold my arm and 'analyse' the mark and started to tell me how the mark looks like the map of Australia, Singapore or any other country that he can conjure at that moment.

Time passed and I managed to turn a deaf ear to all the remarks about my precious mark. In fact, I have forgotten about it until the day I went to a cabin crew interview with Malaysia's full service airline. After passing all the stages, including the grooming test, after waiting for more than 7 hours, the head interviewer called me up and told me that I would have to surgically remove my birth mark if I really want the job. In my heart, I was cursing him. F him. Never in this lifetime would I remove something I regard as special on my body. So I said to him, its ok, I'm not that desperate. I'm sure other airlines can look beyond my birthmark and notice my potential.

So off I went to another full service airline from Singapore and Dubai. The airline for Singapore accepted me but told me to cover it with foundation or concealer every time before flight. Because of that experience, I 'declared' my birth mark during the early stage of interview with the airline from Dubai. And surprisingly, all I got was a puzzled look. The head interviewer said with raised eyebrows, "So?". An international airline, among the highest paying airline in the world is not even slightly bothered with what everyone else think as a birth defect. I got in despite of the birth mark.

Well, anyway, time passed and once again I sort of forgot about it. I didn't even notice it anymore. And I realize that when I don't think about it, people don't think about it.

But yesterday, when I was in the 'kamar kecil', idly, I looked at my right arm. And realized that I have forgotten about my birth mark! Seriously my heart skipped a beat. As though I was seeing it for the first time. I have forgotten about something that makes me different from anyone else..

So today, I'm appreciating my birth mark again. I'm glad I have it. I'm never gonna be me without it.

Again, after more than 20 years, I'm wearing the watch that I'm born with...



Take care peeps.. Luv ya!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

:: Jika Kau Ubah Fikiran - Mila ::




Diriku sedar siapalah ku dimatamu
hanya sebutir pasir di pantai kau berlabuh
cukup di situ hasrat ku terkubur

Kau juga bilang kau belum bersedia lagi
untuk mengganti pasangan dalam sanubari
mungkin kerna masih basah luka lama

Jika kau ubah fikiran
aku kan setia menanti
jika kau perlukan teman
carilah disini
jika kau ubah fikiran
untuk jatuh cinta lagi
yang pertama ke depan
jika kau ubah fikiran

Akan ku serah segalanya oh kepadamu
senang atau susah aku tabah tuk menempuh
tapi sayang hatimu belum terbuka

Jika kau ubah fikiran
aku kan setia menanti
jika kau perlukan teman
carilah disini
jika kau ubah fikiran
untuk jatuh cinta lagi
yang pertama ke depan
jika kau ubah fikiran

Aku mahukan kamu
sungguh benar dan jujur
aku mahukan kamu
sungguh benar dan jujur
tapi sayang hatimu belum terbuka


Jika kau ubah fikiran
aku kan setia menanti
jika kau perlukan teman
carilah disini
jika kau ubah fikiran
untuk jatuh cinta lagi
yang pertama ke depan
jika kau ubah fikiran

Aku kan setia menanti
jika kau perlukan teman
carilah disini
jika kau ubah fikiran
untuk jatuh cinta lagi
yang pertama ke depan
jika kau ubah fikiran
jika Kau Ubah Fikiran

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

:: Counting My Blessing ::

I have made it a point to not feel sorry for myself and not to let others feel sorry for me. I find it hard to accept pity from others.

When 'that' thing happened, I lost quite a handful of friends. Those who took his side, those who judged and decided that I was to blame for the whole thing, those who simply are idiotic.

I was crushed and fell to the bottom end and thought that the life that I've known and love has ended. I fell into the loneliness pit..

But that didn't last long.. I decided soon enough that I'm only gonna do things that I love. Associate myself with positive people, ask help from the Almighty and realign my mindset so that I only attract great things into my life. I kept on telling myself that all that has happened is a blessing in disguise and that I will someday look back and realize that what I experience is not that bad at all.. Compared to those who lost their family to the tsunami, those who lost a limb or those with a terminal disease, mine will be like a walk in the park.

True enough, not long after the tragedy, I landed a job that I've been dreaming of.. befriended friends who make me laugh and lift me up in an instant, found solution to the debt that was dumped on me and found new activities I've always wanted to do but didn't know how to before..

First horse riding, now diving.. I've yet to learn a lot of things about diving but so far I'm enjoying every minute of it. The people I've met are awesome.. They look beyond my flaws and my past, they appreciate my talents and they give me support and encouragement that I needed. The best thing is that they have thought me to just lay back and enjoy each moment as they come.. No more protocol, no issues about who's making more money or who's got a bigger car.

The best thing is that I'm being paid to dive and be by the beach. I am grateful for this job!. When I want to ride, they have a horse stable.. when I want to dive, well, I have to dive since its my project in Terengganu..

Moral of the story is, when you think that you've hit rock bottom, think again. There is always somebody else out there who's having a worst day than you.. Be patience because you never know what God is planning for you. Always be optimistic and think of only good things and good things will come you way.

At the same time, be grateful.. So, Alhamdulillah.. I am very very grateful for all my blessings..

Chow peeps.. Take it easy.. And take care of your loved ones..