Wednesday, February 3, 2010

:: The Question & The Answer ::

I think most of you, especially those who are close to me, are aware of my future planning. I got mixed responses for this. Some say its too early, some say they are happy for me.
To me, its simple. I have no guarantee that this is going to work out 100%. And I have no guarantee that it wont work either. I just can keep working on being a better person for him n for me.

I mean, how long do you have to know a person before you decide? Do years of courtship really do determine your level of happiness with a person? I dont think so..

I have been asking this exact same question to a few people when they asked for my hand in marriage. (not at the same time of course). "Why do you want to marry me?". I've had a lot of answers. Some I liked and some I despised. When I asked him the question, He answered "Nak elak dosa & nak tambah pahala". Need i say more?

One of my close friend called me yesterday and said "U tak serik ke pai? U baru je kanal dia!" I am thankful that he cares and concern. But what should I do? Be 'serik' and never get married again? Or stay in a relationship with him for a few years and then consider marrying him? Why cant we date after marriage?

Is it really our position to arrange our lives? After all, to quote a dear friend of mine, "Allah dah buat akaun kita siap-siap dah even sebelum kita dilahirkan. Cuma cara kita acquire those things yang memberi kita dosa dan pahala, n berkat & tak berkat kehidupan kita ni.."


Dari Abdullah ibnu Amar ibnu Al-Ash r.huma meriwayatkan saya mendengar Rasulullah salallahu a'laihi wasallam bersabda:
Telah ditulis oleh Allah takdir seluruh makhluk 50,000 tahun sebelum Dia menciptakan langit dan bumi. Baginda juga bersabda: Dan ArasyNya berada diatas air. (H.R. Muslim)

Dari Anas r.huma meriwayatkan, bahawa Rasulullah salallahu a'laihi wasallam bersabda:
Sesungguhnya besarnya pahala adalah bergantung dengan besarnya ujian atau penderitaan. Dan sesungguhnya apabila Allah mengasihi sesuatu kaum. Dia akan menguji mereka (dengan penderitaan). Oleh sebab itu, barangsiapa yang redhai ujian Allah, Allah juga akan meredhainya. Dan barangsiapa yang tidak redha, maka Allah juga tidak meredhainya. (H.R. Tarmizi).


Myra Nasseries said...

Dear Faizah,

There is never a 110% assurance that whatever decisions we make will yield us the result that we wish for. Its all in Allah's hands. And we can only continue to channel our effort and pray to Him for the best result.

There is also no proven theory to the equation : No.of years in relationship + No. of dates = Long lasting marriage. It doesnt work that way. Its all about understanding and staying true to one another before and after being legalized as man and wife.

As long as you know that you are prepared to sail again in this new journey with your soulmate and most importantly, the journey is blessed by your beloved family, you will be happy again. Insya Allah.

May you have a beautiful journey!

nani said...

Yes, insyallah. Kita juga dibekalkan dengan senjata doa. So, why not make use of it...We pray for the best, for all of us. Kita suka! hihihihiii...

Wife, Mother and Daughter said...

myra: thanks so much for the comment. I really do appreciate it. kenduri u bila myra?

kak nani: thank u.. its just amazing how friendly your whole family is towards me.. kekadang cam terharu lak.. hehe

A RAY OF HOPE said...


It is true that our Fate have been decided even before we are born. But the question is what is that Fate? We have no answer to that and only Allah knows best.

But what we have is our free will to decide which path for us to take, is it the path of righteousness or the path of wickedness. That is for us to decide.

I have no answers for you, but please refer to Surah Al Fajr, ayat 27-30. It may help you find the answer that you need.

By the way, my wife send her salam and best wishes.

Wife, Mother and Daughter said...

thank u bro for that.. u have always been there for me.. n i really appreciate the support.

its true that we dont know what our fate is.. nobody knows. all we can do is do things that is allowed and encourage by Islam. I think getting married is one of them. whether the marriage is going to last or not is not for me to judge or decide..

take care bro. n salam to mimi too..

Zetty said...

kalau hati dah suka hehehe.
semoga berbahagia bebeh :)

Wife, Mother and Daughter said...

kalau tak suka, camne nak kawin.. hehe.. thanks babe.. i dok tunggu nak gi u punya majlis lak ni..

langsuir said...

You know what is the best for you, not others.

Izham Miyake said...

Why not, Why not & Why not?

Wife, Mother and Daughter said...

langs: true!

tenno: why not!